Redefining Strength: My Evolving Definition of the Strong Black Woman

Growing up, I watched my mother embody the Strong Black Woman archetype. She wore her cape of strength proudly, seemingly capable of handling any challenge without flinching. This image of Black women as pillars of resilience isn’t unique to my experience—it’s a global phenomenon. This Women’s History Month, I’ve been re-examining this archetype, recognizing its power while also understanding its complexities. The Strong Black Woman trope, while often a source of pride, can also be a heavy burden to bear.

The Strong Black Woman trope paints a picture of someone who can endure immense pain, remain tough in any situation, and serve as the backbone of both family and community. This image often instills a sense of pride, with many Black women happily prioritizing others’ needs above their own. However, this perceived invincibility can sometimes come at a cost.

While the “badge of honor” associated with this strength can be empowering, it can also lead to emotional suppression and neglect of self-care, ultimately impacting overall well-being. In my therapeutic practice and personal life, I’ve observed how this strength can manifest as an unwillingness to seek help, leading to chronic stress and increased anxiety or depression. Many struggle with these issues, believing they must silently bear these burdens.

As I’ve grown, I’ve realized my perception of my mother’s unwavering strength was incomplete. What I didn’t see was the network of support she had cultivated over the years. My mother, like many Strong Black Women I admired, hadn’t done it all alone. They consistently chose to seek out support, forming and finding community. This revelation highlighted a crucial aspect of what I believe to be an ever-evolving definition of true strength: the ability to be independent while also recognizing the value of interdependence.

The power of community and support systems cannot be overstated in the context of the Strong Black Woman narrative. By fostering connections and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, we create spaces for healing and growth. By acknowledging our need for support, we give ourselves permission to be human—with all the strengths and weaknesses that entails. 

If you choose to join me in reflecting on the Strong Black Woman archetype this Women’s History Month, consider these journaling prompts:

1. When was the last time you allowed yourself to be vulnerable? How did it feel?
2. What support systems do you have in place? How can you strengthen them?
3. How can you show kindness to yourself today?

Remember, wherever you are in your healing journey, it’s okay to be both strong and vulnerable. As a Black woman and a therapist, I’m committed to fostering this balance in my own life and supporting others in doing the same. Let’s redefine strength together, embracing our full, complex humanity.  

Ada Umubera, LMSW,  originally published this article in UMOJA Magazine, a respected publication dedicated to reflecting the unique stories, history, and people of our community. To read more great articles, from their publication, please visit www.umojamagazine.com.